i have died everyday (waiting for you)
by Cranestep
Summary: And, suddenly, Hollyleaf realizes what true happiness feels like. Fallen Leaves and Hollyleaf reunite in StarClan. Shorter than I intended, but it gets my point across, I hope! Completed one-shot.


**Title: **i have died everyday (waiting for you)

**Rating: **K

**Characters/Pairings: **Hollyleaf, Bluestar, Fallen Leaves; Hollyleaf/Fallen Leaves

**Summary: **And, suddenly, Hollyleaf realizes what true happiness feels like. Fallen Leaves and Hollyleaf reunite in StarClan.

**Authors Note: **It's about time I wrote something for these two! It's short, but it just gets to the point I wanted to make. Title from "A Thousand Years" by Christian Perri.

* * *

StarClan was better than she had ever imagined.

Watching as her old Clanmates, cats that she hadn't expected to be so pleased to see once she finally made her trip up to the stars, she realizes that, _finally _she fit in. When her spirit had first risen, there had been that tinge of doubt in some dark corner of her perception, that lingering thought of _they don't want someone like _you _in their ranks _had, with good reason, been lodged in the back of her mind. It only took about a day in the living worlds time, filled with cats of all Clan's, ranks, ages welcoming her to realize that this was one of the places where she felt truly welcome.

(Even more so then ThunderClan in the last few moons of her life.)

She watches as Firestar, ginger pelt no longer dulling in his age and restored to it's prime, pads alongside a silver-blue furred she-cat, both talking and laughing with each other as if they had known each other for seasons, finally reunited in death.

It only took a few days in the ranks of StarClan, watching scenes like this one unfold – warriors who had been separated by one dying, only met by their mutual fate, for Hollyleaf to realize that she's really alone here.

Firestar had all of the Clanmates who died in the old forest and at the lake to speak to again, Ferncloud had her dead kittens and Ashfur (who Hollyleaf had made sure she spoken to, once she had the chance, and found out that Ashfur had long forgiven her), and Mousefur had Longtail.

Really, she's just jealous of it. Hollyleaf had, of course, been the first of her family to die – aside from Firestar, her whole family were all living, down in the forest clearing learning to move on with the grief that the battle had caused them all. She had been killed, and although she does like the cats of StarClan, she really does, it just didn't feel, well, complete yet.

Until one day, when she's sitting by Feathertail, her mother Silverstream, Honeyfern, and Ferncloud, gossiping and laughing, Bluestar pads to her, regal and confident, even in death.

"Hollyleaf," she meows, giving the other she-cats a nod of respect before looking back to her. "There's someone who wants to see you." She meows, a small smile flitting onto her features at Hollyleaf's shocked expression.

She gets to her paws, meowing a good-bye to the others, and padding alongside the taller cat as they walk further into StarClan's territory.

"Who's here to see me?" she asks, looking to Bluestar and frowning as the leader stops, nodding toward the path in front of them.

As Hollyleaf turns, blinking, she nearly faints as a ghostly figure, sitting in between to bracken bushes and giving her a warm smile, waits for her.

Fallen Leaves gets to his paws, and, even though she's about five fox-lengths away, he still is the only tom to have ever had this effect on her: who made her heart thud against her ribs, her paws feel numb and for her face to heat up whenever he'd give her that stupid, goofy smile.

She doesn't even hesitate a moment longer before bolting towards him, ears flattened and lips trembling at the overwhelming emotions going through her, throwing herself at the ginger-and-white tom, burying her face in his neck fur and choking out "_Fallen Leaves._"

The scrawny tom just lets out a shaky purr, wrapping his forelegs around her as best as he could and letting her sob into his fur. "Hi, Hollyleaf," he meows, and she can practically _hear _the grin in his tone as he said that.

After a few moments of them just wrapped in each others embrace, and Hollyleaf finally composes herself enough, she peels away from the patched tabby, narrowing her green gaze at him.

"You're finally here, huh?" she asks jokingly, causing Fallen Leaves to smile.

"I wanted to spend a few days with my mother – she's been waiting to see me for so long." He tells her, his ear twitching.

Hollyleaf smiles at him, taking a moment to get a few more breaths into her body, before pressing her muzzle against his. Despite herself, a few tiny whimpers come from her as she realizes how much she really loves this cat – this one cat who risked so much because he loved her.

She feels Fallen Leaves stiffen. "Why are you so sad?" he asks, frowning at her and giving her that concerned look that she can't help but think is so adorable.

Hollyleaf shakes her head, smiling. "I'm not sad. I'm very happy."

As she separates from him, allowing the bicolored tom to stand to his paws, she finally says the words that she's been itching to tell him for so long: "I love you."

Fallen Leaves looks at her, his green eyes wide with shock, before his face practically melts into a look of fondness and warmth, nuzzling her cheek against his own and letting out a purr.

"I love you, too, Hollyleaf."

And, suddenly, Hollyleaf realizes what true happiness feels like.


End file.
